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Published 9/13/03 in The Post-Star newspaper Yes, Even Super-Novas Need Wake-Up Calls COMMENTARY By STACEY MORRIS What could Marcia Brady possibly have in common with Jennifer Lopez? Yes, one is a fictitious character and the other is an unmistakably real person, thrust upon us daily (or hourly, depending on what network you're watching.) But go with me on this one. Both quintessential have-it-all beauties share the common experience of being subjected to stinging reality checks. Marcia's came on a particular episode of "The Brady Bunch" 30 years ago while Jennifer's unexpected dose of reality arrived just days ago, when her wedding was reportedly called off by her fiancé. We don't know for sure yet why Ben Affleck changed his mind so abruptly, first on the wedding then on the entire relationship. But I have a theory. And it mirrors perfectly "The Brady Bunch" episode where Marcia won the coveted part of Juliet in her school play. As the teenaged Marcia reveled in her victory, her sweet persona was suddenly replaced by a flouncing drama queen who gratuitously hurled insults at bewildered siblings and classmates. And so I'm guessing it is with J. Lo, based on persistent accounts of diva like behavior and embarrassing outtakes from a recent interview she did with her former fiancé -- little glimpses of her true colors that were never intended to see the light of day. Sure, a lot of the unflattering press surrounding Lopez is hearsay, but oh the camera ... it's incapable of lying. Witness the only interview Affleck and Lopez gave as a couple. The one where they spent some time in the kitchen together with an interviewer as the cameras rolled. While Lopez stood at a stove cooking a meal, Affleck, ostensibly trying to provide a little comic relief, launched into a Julia Child impression. With a startling ferocity, Lopez spun away from the stove to face Affleck, High-Noon style, and chastise him for disturbing her culinary reverie. Before she even uttered the (unprintable) curse at him, he was already cowering with flushed cheeks. The pot she was stirring wasn't the only thing simmering as a contrite Affleck massaged her shoulders and took another stab at trying to break the tension with a joke. Lopez responded again by shaking her head as if he was the biggest schmuck on earth, gritting her teeth with disgust as she threw another expletive his way. Meanwhile, the mortified interviewer made his best attempt to smile as the cameras cut. A small slice of their lives but telling nonetheless. That episode coupled with Affleck's alleged pulling the rug out from under the wedding plans seems to suggest that Lopez might have been suffering from acute "The role of Juliet is mine" fever. On a global level of celebrity, Lopez currently has the part of Juliet sewn up with her thriving movie, music, clothing and perfume empire. There are magazines and television shows that make their living propagating the theory that our plain-old weekly paycheck lives are hopelessly dwarfed by the fabulousness of a celebrity's. We rarely get the downside, the ugly side-effects of the nonstop spoiling of celebrities. The end product: people who are so obnoxious, you wouldn't spend time with them unless someone paid you, perhaps. But I'll tell you what we have that celebrities don't -- people in our lives who will check our egos. Lopez isn't so much a villain as she is a garden-variety spoiled superstar. Most of us at one time or another have probably succumbed to impatience, materialism and vanity. But lacking a malleable entourage of ego-massagers on the payroll, it's a safe bet our actions have been called into question before they're allowed to bloom into "Jack and the Beanstalk" proportions. The denouement to Marcia Brady's reality check came when her parents informed her that her behavior was atrocious and that the part of Juliet would be played by the understudy. Devastated at first, Marcia was ultimately able to regroup and reform. Hindsight gave her a clear look at her human foibles. For the first time, Lopez took on a fiancé who was equal in terms of celebrity (her first husband was a waiter and husband number two was one of her back-up dancers). This was probably a good thing. She may have finally stumbled upon someone who had nothing to lose (except a pink diamond engagement ring) by laying it on the line with her. Yes, it's the mother of all long shots, but at least now Lopez has a shot at regrouping and recovering. |