“But I want to get the weight off…now! Or at least soon. As soon as possible. What can you do for me?”
It’s a very common request from clients and readers and believe me, I not only understand it, I have LIVED it for decades.
Me doing an existential WTF to the Universe…
During the years I was awash in binge-eating and ignoring the messages my heart and soul was valiantly trying to tell me, I’d emerge from a year or so of unmitigated eating and running from reality with a resolve born of both panic and disgust: I’VE GOT TO GET THIS FREAKIN’ WEIGHT OFF!
Loading Up on Food, Tamping Down on the Anxiety
The problem was, I hadn’t a clue how to go about it in a rational and lasting way. The strict diets and food trends I grabbed onto (low-fat, high-fat, no-carb, low-carb, all liquids…you get the picture) left me feeling sad, confused, and more stuck. So I went back to binge-eating to feel better. And 6 months to a year later, I’d ricochet back to the other extreme. In the interim, I’d do whatever I could to heal the inner wounds and pay attention (as much as I would allow a the time) to my heart and soul and what they really needed.
Turns out, they needed me to be present to, well, the present. And deal with whatever’s going on in as forthright a manner as I could. This is the abridged solution and it’s an existential artform I continue to perfect. Over the two decades I spent at 300 pounds +, I got better and better at being in the present moment and with being honest with myself and others.
And as cliche as it sounds, when my student-self was ready, the teacher, in the form of Diamond Dallas Page and #DDPYOGA, appeared. I knew what was required of me and I was ready to do it. And I knew what was required to keep the weight off and I continue to agree to do it. Not perfectly because that was never the goal anyway.
But when I stopped pinning all hopes for happiness on #weightloss and began to pay attention to which way the compass was really pointing, the self-esteem went from a sapling to a beanstalks that would have made Jack proud.
The Lotus begins in the mud, deep beneath the surface. It takes a long time to reach the light and bloom, but once it does, it is a beautiful and immutable strong blossom.
If I can convince one or a few of you not to be hard on yourselves and find ways to appreciate and nourish yourselves, a little at a time, then my journey will have been that much more worth it.
Happy and Healthy
